As children, we make sense of our world and adapt to the circumstances we're given.
Our home life and environment may lead us to believe:
I'm not good enough.
I have to get everything right.
Other people's needs matter more than mine.
It's safer not to need anyone.
And around those beliefs, strategies develop.
We might become perfectionistic and driven, extraordinarily self-reliant, highly attuned to other people's moods, or learn to withdraw and make ourselves small.
These weren't character flaws.
They were very smart adaptations.
Repeated over time, these beliefs and strategies get baked into our nervous system, almost like the inner rings of a tree. They're deeply embedded.
The body doesn't just reflect the old pattern. It participates in setting thoughts and behaviors in motion.